Dress Like a Doll, Fight Like a Man

I like tea, coffee, all things girly and getting very, very messy.

Sorry for being so inactive lately. I am having the time of my life at the snow as a ski instructor!  I think this is the most fun I have ever, ever had. :) I miss sydney but I feel like I’m living in this fabulous, wonderful bubble and enjoying not worrying about life. Good people, good food, good snow and cute kids. I love this. I never want to leave.

And yes, I wear my pink zinc cream as war paint!

Never thought I’d be in a cosplay again! Wearing black cat to a costume party at the snow. :) it’s super slinky and fun.

The snow is amazing and I am most definitely still having the time of my life. There is powder snow in Australia I don’t believe it!!! I wish you were all here having fun with me. I’m sorry I haven’t been posting more but I’ve been studying for my level 1 ski instructors exam which is tomorrow. Wish me luck! Clearly my resort has faith in me because I’ve already been booked in for lessons but I’m still a little nervous.

I love and miss you all.

Anonymous said: So delicious <3

Ahahaha not right now. I’ve been skiing in a blizzard and my hair is a mess. I am crazy gross.

Oh man I am having so much fun at the snow. I know this might sound strange but I almost feel guilty that I’m having so much fun? I dunno.

The snow rocks and I’m enjoying the cold much more than I thought I would. I have a pretty rocking room mate and the people here are crazy awesome.

I leave for the snow tomorrow! Please wish me luck. I will miss you all very much. Here’s to life changes and following your dreams!

Anonymous said: Dear person I had a crush on

I miss you. I am not one to miss someone easily, but the absence of you feels like my life is lying to me by omission. 

I miss the lines of your nose and the water that was your eyes. I miss your words and the way you could make me feel about myself with nothing but a look.

I ache for you as a friend even more.

If I were a better person I would have wrestled the pomegranate seeds from your tongue, but instead I let you drown.

The truth is that I wanted you to hurt me.

This is officially my snow beanie. I am the biggest ever nerd and super proud of it.
marionisamuffin:

pleasantandcain:

fromladytolifter:

candidlycara:

dance-in-the-shadows:

gracediamondsfear:

wifeyknowsbest:

whatapreciouslittlefuckfox:


A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!

this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.

i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

God.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.

For that last comment.

I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.

Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?

Story time:
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.

It got better.


So it was quite a challenge to lose my virginity,  being weirdly tight&#8230;Me and my first boyfriend were trying yet again and lo and behold of course the dick is just not going in.I started giggling uncontrollably until I pretty much screamed &#8220;YOU SHALL NOT PAAAASSSSS!!!&#8221; Bad sex is totally the right time for bad lord of the rings jokes right?At any rate then we spent about half an hour laughing and most definitely did not have any more sex.

marionisamuffin:

pleasantandcain:

fromladytolifter:

candidlycara:

dance-in-the-shadows:

gracediamondsfear:

wifeyknowsbest:

whatapreciouslittlefuckfox:

A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!

Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!

this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.

i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

God.

My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”

THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.

THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.

it worked, but not before I laughed for days.

For that last comment.

I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.

Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.

On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.

Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?

Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?

Story time:

I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”

Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.

Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.

It got better.

So it was quite a challenge to lose my virginity, being weirdly tight…

Me and my first boyfriend were trying yet again and lo and behold of course the dick is just not going in.

I started giggling uncontrollably until I pretty much screamed “YOU SHALL NOT PAAAASSSSS!!!” Bad sex is totally the right time for bad lord of the rings jokes right?

At any rate then we spent about half an hour laughing and most definitely did not have any more sex.

(Source: erospainter, via technicolourprincess)

I don’t know how to thank you for re igniting me.

Anonymous said: Dear person I am jealous of

Anon this one is really hard! There really aren’t many people I’m truly jealous of. I’ll give it a go.

Dear person I am jealous of,

I am not jealous of you or who you are. I find you boring, simple and plain. I am jealous of the way you make her laugh and smile. I am jealous that you were there for her when I could not be.

I will write about the following, leave one in my ask box.

Dear person I hate,
Dear person I like,
Dear ex boyfriend,
Dear ex girlfriend,
Dear ex bestfriend,
Dear bestfriend,
Dear *anyone*,
Dear Santa,
Dear mom,
Dear dad,
Dear future me,
Dear past me,
Dear person I’m jealous of,
Dear person I had a crush on,
Dear girlfriend,
Dear boyfriend,
Dear [insert URL here],

Hit me up followers! I feel like writing something that isn’t my book. :)

(Source: wishtoconfess, via eatpig)

It is impossible to take a photo of your legs looking nice and/or sexy in ski boots.

Anonymous said: I would love to see you kiss my partner

I don’t even understand this message. Is your partner okay with it? Why would you like to see that? Why in general? So many questions.